Movie Review: Cyborg X (2016)

“Half Man, Half Machine, No Mercy”

0 Stars
Cyborg X (2016)

Cyborg X (2016)


Director: Kevin King

Cast: Eve Mauro, Danny Trejo, Rocky Myers

Synopsis: Survivors of an uprising of machines struggles to survive in a post-apocalyptic future.

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Cyborg X is the kind of low-budget exploitation flick that appeals to men and boys turned on by the sight of a busty chick wielding a rocket launcher.   It’s set in a post-apocalyptic future in which the vestiges of humanity are slowly losing the war against an army of hybrid man-machines created by X-Corp, a weapons manufacture infected by a cyber virus.   However, when the dwindling band of survivors discover that the man they rescued from one of those machines is none other than Jack Kilmore (Rocky Myers), the appropriately named former CEO of X-Corp, their hope is renewed and they hatch a plan to strike X-Corp at its very heart.

What is there to say about a movie like Cyborg that isn’t redundant?   Like all other movies in its genre, it has no ambition other than to make some money, and targets an audience whose critical faculties are expressed by variations of one of two words: rock or suck.   Like a kid with pocket money burning a hole in his pocket, director Kevin King blows his wad in the movie’s first ten minutes, and so, with no explosions to distract us, the deficiencies of Cyborg X become increasingly apparent.   Sadly, to do justice to them all would require time and space that exceed the parameters of this review.

Casting decisions regarding females appear to have been influenced more by breast size than acting ability.   They all look hot, and appear more than capable of breaking the back of any man that crosses them.   In his few minutes of screen time, genre staple Danny Trejo (Heat, The Ridiculous 6) sucks unconvincingly on a Meerschaum pipe between exchanges of gunfire with the bodybuilding man-machines.   Leading man duties fall on Myers who, it has to be said, is pretty good for a movie that has set its sights so deliberately low in nearly all other respects.

Cyborg X definitely isn’t the worst exploitation flick out there – some of the gore effects, in fact, are pretty good, if you’re into that kind of thing – but being superior garbage doesn’t mean it’s worth watching.

(Reviewed 8th September 2016)

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